


Date Night

by ehhhchimatsu



Series: In Which Forbidden Dorks do Normal Merc Things [3]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Fluff, M/M, shy sniper and cocky scout, speeding bullet, spy is also a secret wingman i guess, they're both really just huge nerds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-05 21:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4195944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ehhhchimatsu/pseuds/ehhhchimatsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The RED Scout shows up in the daytime to the BLU Sniper's van - dressed nicely and with a bouquet of flowers. Just what does he think he's doing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Showing Up

A rather urgent knock on his camper van's door roused Sniper from his mid-day nap.

He groaned, groggily rubbing the sleep from his face and climbing down his bed, going slow as to be sure not to tumble down the ladder and break something. The knocking repeated itself once more.

He made it down safely, shuffling his way to the door, and mumbling loud enough for the urgent knocker to hear, "Oi swear on me mum, ya bloody spook, if you're-".

He swung the door open inwards, not expecting a well-groomed Scout with a bouquet of flowers to be standing in front of him. 

Sniper's eyes immediately snapped wide open at the sight of the enemy Scout being in BLU territory in the middle of day. The Sniper rushed to pull him into the van by the collar of his shirt, a shocked "hey!" coming from the kid.

"Don't 'hey!' me!" The Sniper grumbled sternly, making haste to peek out the open door, checking if the coast was clear, then slamming it shut. He whipped around to face the Scout. 

"What in the bloody hell are ya tryin' to pull here?" The Sniper exclaimed, fuming. 

The Scout had a pout on his face, not meeting the Sniper's eye, instead staring at the floor and running his fingers through his hair. "Ya messed up my hair. I had it slicked back an' everythin' for ya."

To his credit, the Scout did look nice. He had traded his usual attire in for a red button-up plaid shirt and tan khaki pants. His hair was messily slicked back now, darker than it's normal color, probably due to gel. The bouquet of flowers hung limp in his left hand at his side, threatening to fall from his grasp.

The Sniper sighed loudly. The lil' anklebiter was trying to be romantic. 

"Them flowers for me?" The marksman asked, making sure to keep any shocked venom out of his voice. The boy didn't deserve it now - not when it was obvious that he had put effort into this little... whatever it was. 

The Scout immediately perked up at the question, smiling wide and looking determined. He brought the flowers to his chest before practically shoving them onto the Sniper, who took them, chuckling. 

The Scout grinned even wider, stating, "I picked 'em m'self. Asked Demo - since he's inta that potion-makin' stuff, ya know? - which flowahs out here were poisonous and made sure ta avoid those, just for you."

The Sniper took a second to look down at the array of flowers - most of them were yellow and purple, and small, but there were a few dozen of them. It was a really sweet gesture. 

"Well, thanks. Oi really wasn't expectin' anythin' loike this. What's the occasion?"

"Well, we been togetha for a while now. Just thought it'd be nice to take mah special guy on a date." The Scout winked up at the taller man. 

Whose ears had immediately gone a tad red as he looked down and away, smiling. "Oi reckon it'd be nice to have a special dinner date. But - " his face turned more serious, looking back at the smaller man " - but, Oi don't think we could go into town for an outing. Not to mention we're on different sides of a war, we're also both men, Scout."

"Who said anythin' 'bout goin' inta town?" Scout countered. "We live in the desert. And ya have a van. As long as ya got gas for this puppy, we can go anywhere, Snipes."

The Sniper thought about this for a second. The kid had a point - besides the town and their bases, there really wasn't much civilization anywhere for miles. 

"Yeah, alroight," he decided. "It's a date, then."

The Scout burst out laughing, raising his hands above his head in victory. "Score! Yeah, man, that's what I'm talkin' about! I am the wooing mastah. I'll swing by around eight o'clock then?"

The Sniper chuckled quietly, nodding. "Yeah, sounds good ta me, mate. Aces."

"Great," the Scout said, hopping up on his tiptoes to peck a kiss on Sniper's cheek, rushing his way through the van to the door, opening it. "Remembah to wear somethin' nice!"

The Sniper was momentarily stunned by the chaste kiss, and by the boy's eagerness to leave. "But Oi don't have anythin' - " The door slammed shut, footfalls could be heard running away. " - noice," he finished, mumbling. He looked down at his watch. He had plenty of time to get ready for the night's arrangement, he just had to try and keep cool and calm. Yeah. 

He could do this.


	2. Unwanted Visitor That Isn't Scout

When the Sniper heard knocking on his camper's door the second time that day, he had just come out of the shower. The sudden noise had startled him so much that he'd almost knocked over the bouquet of flowers now sitting in a large thermos on the edge of the sink.

Luckily, he was a professional, and adapted quickly to unexpected things, righting the thermos with mild, flailing ease.

A glance at his watch, sitting next to the thermos, had the Sniper curious as to who the knocker could be - it was only around seven o'clock, he had a whole hour before the boy was supposed to show up.

He hung his towel around his neck, foregoing grundies to just put his old trousers on - decent enough, he figured, for just answering the door. 

He passed out of the small washroom, droplets of water leaving a small trail behind him, to the entrance of the van. He opened the door only to find... no one there. 

No one visible, at least.

Immediately, the man groaned, slamming the door and leaning against it, staring intensely opposite of him and crossing his arms. "Spook, what are ya doin' here? Oi don't have any toime ta be gobbin' around with the loikes of ya."

A hazy figure emitting blue static appeared at the small fold-out table, his legs comfortably stretched out and crossed over eachother, his arms behind his head. "So I see," the BLU Spy replied, smirking at the other's appearance. 

Leaning on the table now, the Spy's eyes did a once-over of the man, from bottom to too, finally meeting his eyes. "I just zhought zhat you'd like some 'elp for your... date tonight, mon ami. Unless you do actually 'ave clozhes zhat are not foul and dirty and reek of piss."

The Sniper had remained scowling throughout the time that the Frenchman had talked, but with that statement about the date, his eyebrows had shot up, then turned down in anger, a deep frown marring his lips. "Should'a known you were snoopin' in on me business, ya pompous bloody donga. But besoides, Oi don't need no help from any bloke, 'specially one that's as slitherin' and schemin' as you. So feel free to let the door hit ya on yer way out, mate."

At this point, the Sniper had pulled himself from leaning against the door, and opened it up, pointedly gesturing for the Spy to leave.

With a blank face, the Spy took his time getting up from the table, and instead of heading his way out, walked right up to the Sniper, who continued to glare at the trespassing snake. 

The Spy reached a hand into his overcoat, sending the Sniper on high alert, gripping the doorway with white knuckles ready to lash out. 

However, he was surprised to see the Spy bring out two blue ties, both of different shades, holding them up to his neck.

The Sniper stood still as he just ogled down at the shorter man below him, who was eye-level at his neck and comparing the ties side by side as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

When Sniper finally got over the absurdity of the situation, he opened the door wider, taking a step backwards, out of the camper and onto the ground with his bare feet, and bare chest, shaking his head vigorously. "Hey - oi! Mate, Oi told ya already that Oi don't need no help. Now get outta here!"

The Spy just took a step closer, leaning against the doorway and pouting, the ties now dangling from his left hand - always the dramatic one, he was. "Lawrence, you are 'opeless, zhough. You need my 'elp, and you know zhis just as well as I." A pause, and Sniper looked down and away, refusing to admit that the serpang standing pitifully in front of him was right. 

"What do ya get out of the deal?" Sniper skeptically looked back up at the man, who now, thanks to the camper, was at eye-level. 

The Spy feigned hurt, clutching his chest. "I am 'urt! I cannot believe zhat you would zhink so ill of me as to zhink I was doing zhis for myself."

"So what's the catch?"

The Spy's expression turned slightly harder. "You 'ave to fill in for me whenever it is my turn to do zhe team's filzhy laundry. For zhe next year."

"Deal."

As soon as he said it he almost regretted it. 

Almost. 

At least he'd look nice for Scout.


End file.
